As is our routine on Tuesdays, we tried to hunt Maurice at his bar and possibly win a few zloty in pub quiz. We had been worried all week about Maurice because he did not return Cracola’s texts. He had told us that he was going to “buy property in the Ukraine” last week and we worried that one of Mafioso’s Ukranian thugs had gotten to him.
Now we did something, that we are not proud of. Because neither Cracola or I know anything about sports and sports is a topic every week, we invited Brandy to join us, thinking that even the gayest of the gay might know a little something about sports. They did not know anything, were completely useless and we came in 5th place. Out of 6.
However, the 5th place showing is under protest because had we just one more point we would have finished 4th. And, we had that point but the quiz was wrong.
The topic was geography the question was, “This is the only country to lie in two continents.”
Easy enough, Russia, no?
Well the answer on the quiz was Turkey and I don’t dispute that Turkey lies in two continents but SO DOES RUSSIA. Ignoring the fact that anything Russian that is west of the Urals is in Europe (Moscow? Hello.), Russia own a small slice of land next to Lithuania and POLAND called Kaliningrad. And Lithuania and Poland are clearly in Europe so thus, so must be Kaliningrad.
And we weren’t the only ones who had Russia. Two other teams had Russia and they were full of big Irish guys who were arguing with the pub quiz master.
A riot was about to break out. The pub quiz master was calling for a map, but really, who brings a map to a bar fight? Spontaneously, the entire bar broke out into a chant of “RUSSIA! RUSSIA! RUSSIA!” Even the people who put down Turkey were joining in as well.
I thought the roof was going to blow off the place.
The pub quiz master saw the problem with this.
“Gentlemen, gentlemen! We cannot have you yelling for Russia in an Irish bar in Poland! The army will be here soon!”
Yeah right, like the entire Polish army could take on 25 drunk Irishmen.
Regardless, the people in the bar started laughing. The question was forgotten so we settled into 5th place. But the results are still under protest.